Use them or Lose them

Apparently , if you don't use your Airmiles, you'll lose them.
So we're flying to Paris on Sunday ...... for nowt !

I was there about 6 years ago. Do you recognise the building?


I shall be leaving my binoculars and Bill Oddie outfits in Manchester and aspiring to look like a shabby chic Parisienne.

Here are some suggestions I found:


That jacket is nice - but I shall not be wearing the shoes (too high) or the dress (too red and white).

Am I grown up enough for this?


Hope I don't need that umbrella.

However:
I intend to be insouciant rather than inebriate.
I shall be petite rather than shortarsed.
And - instead of pies - I shall be eating tartes or tortes or tartelettes.

So wish me Bon Voyage - I'll be back by Thursday.


KAZ

A Lidl mistake

The Catalans are a proud people.

Like the Welsh they have their own language (above)

Unlike the Welsh they don't provide translations.



Catalunya is not part of Spain just like Wales is not part of England.

Like Wales they have their own flag.


The four red stripes were allegedly made by the bloody battle stained fingers of Wilfred the Hairy - Count of Barcelona in the ninth century.

This is the Spanish flag.



Catalans have a donkey (burro).



Spain has its bull.

This is a popular car sticker in Catalunya.



The Catalans hate the Spanish as much as the Welsh hate the English.

So you wouldn't refer to 'English Wales' and decorate it with the Union flag would you?

I saw this in Lidl's window this afternoon.

I bet it will really give the Catalans the twmpathau.
KAZ

Everybody Lies.

Friend B aka Trudy Styler/Lady Penelope/Lesley sneaked out from under her glittering chandeliers last night to meet me in Didsbury for early doors.

Mine's a Sauvignon - hers is a Chardonnay.

Her opening words were 'Kaz - I need your opinion on this jacket and my new hairstyle'.

I recalled an article I'd read last week about lying. Apparently most people lie three times during a 10 minute conversation. Pete Doherty confessed that the last lie he told was 'not guilty'.

I'm naturally very truthful - probably because I'm afraid of being caught out. But this situation was desperate.

The Jacket:

Brown with big white dots, short sleeves, slender waist and huge shoulder pads.

I know. I know. Shoulder pads are back in fashion - but not like these. These were not Kate and Agyness shoulder pads, they were definitely Krystal and Alexis.

These shoulder pads are alive and well on the Costa del Sol but not in South Manchester.

The Hair:

Reminiscent of Rita off Corrie - but this wasn't a wig. It was back combed so you could see the light through it and the back didn't meet with the front. It was red like Rita's but with DIY scarlet streaks.

What would you have done?
KAZ

Spots and Gits.

Kev's back and he's turned into a miserable old git.

Heaven knows what he'll be like when he gets to my age.

Last week we went to Liverpool. I decided to fork out twenty quid for our train fares rather than risk Kev's white van man style driving.


Anyway, 'twas I who wanted to see this exhibition at Liverpool Tate. So we took the bus to Oxford Rd which is 15 mins door to door. But the bus didn't stop at the station bus stop because of roadworks- so Kev raged and ranted at the totally innocent young female bus driver as I pretended I'd lost something under the seat.

A cyclist using a mobile phone was verbally abused as we walked to the station.

I thought the exhibition was great - but not suitable for chaps like my old friend Colin Baxendale who always walked round saying "I could do that" over and over - but could never explain why he didn't.

The familiar Damien Hirst spotty effort above is one of several hundreds - none of which was painted by Damian.

Someone had even painted the floor.

Kev eventually cheered up and calmed down as we walked over the road to Liverpool ONE to see Everton TWO. It was the day that the new away strip was launched and it's PINK!!

Don't tell anyone - but I was impressed by Liverpool. It's always seemed like Manchester's poor relation - but being European City of Culture must have done it good. Even the scousers looked smart and confident.

The train that took us home was heading for Norwich.
I was very tempted to stay on and visit my pleasant non grumpy East Angular blogging pals.
KAZ

WHY don't they?

1: WHY don't they ... Bring back those tree saver paper bags at the supermarkets? We use to get them at Safeway in the 80s and if they're good enough for Don Draper they're good enough for me.

2: WHY don't they ... Design containers for hair conditioner so that you can get it all out ?

This one is good -

But this one is impossible (see tiny hole) and if you risk life and limb to remove the top most of it will stay in the 'shoulders'.



3: WHY don't they .. Make the leads and wires for computer stuff, phone chargers, radios, lamps etc. in white? Most people have light coloured walls like mine.



4: WHY don't they ..Design a contraption for our canine friends so that they can enjoy the journey without annoying their owners?

** Ooops they already did.

KAZ

What HO!!

Worry not!

I'm still the same raving, lefty, pinko, Old Labour, commie loving, knee jerk socialist. The bust of Lenin is still on the mantelpiece - well metaphorically speaking - you don't often get mantelpieces in flats.

I still have my badge collection and the Endangered Species one is becoming increasingly appropriate.



But someone gave me this which I'd missed in 1990 ..................

..................and now I've fallen for Bertie in a big way.

I wonder how this:


Became this?

Glad he decided against becoming a National Treasure like his boring friend.

Bertie and I have a few things in common.

As Aunt Agatha accused -

"Cursed with too much money (a teacher's pension is quite generous), you fritter away in selfish idleness a life which might have been made useful, helpful, and profitable."

And Bertie once opined -

"I don't know why it is, but I've never been able to bear with fortitude anything in the shape of a kid with golden curls. Confronted with one, I feel the urge to step on him or drop things on him from a height."

So 'What Ho'.

I see it's to be repeated on ITV 3 tonight. I may watch it after my preprandial rituals.

But it won't be half of mild and the Gallagher brothers tonight.

Oh No

More like some very dry martinis and The Inkspots.

Toodle pip!
KAZ