Fly Me!

I flew home alone from Girona yesterday.

On the Airport Bus I saw an attractive young blonde woman who was obviously a Ryanair flight attendant. She was reading a book entitled:

"Operational Instructions"
Part A
EMERGENCY PROCEDURES.

I prayed that she would finish it before my flight took off.

All went smoothly.
I am now back in Manchester where it is still January.

My outward flights to Spain are seldom so uneventful.
In February there was the earthquake - this time there was the "airquake".

They called it turbulence and it was a real white knuckle ride all the way. The pilot said he couldn't remember a flight where it had been so bad.

Kev was acting like a wimp as he gripped the arm rests in terror. He spent most of the flight ranting, effing and blinding. If we'd been on the bus he'd have been thrown off.

I was fairly oblivious. Grazia Magazine was giving me the latest about Sienna's treatment of Rhys. It's a matter of priorities.

The pilot's voice reminded us once again that the 'fasten seat belt' signs were still on.

Some passengers just ignored him.

**** Then the star of the show stood up and took the mike. ****

With a limp wrist and a voice like Graham Norton ... the Chief Air Steward spoke.

He was masterful and magnificent.

He said...

YOU will return to your seats IMMEDIATELY
YOU will fasten your seat belts NOW
YOU will NOT go to the toilet
YOU will NOT open overhead luggage compartments
YOU WILL OBEY THESE INSTRUCTIONS AT ONCE.

Every single person scuttered to their place and silence reigned for the rest of the flight.

What a STAR!!

I wish I'd had class control like that when I was teaching.

P.S. Thanks for taking care of the place. I've replied in the comments box below.
KAZ