Ming the Merciful

Poor old Ming Campbell - oops sorry didn’t mean to say ‘old’.

I saw him on BBC this morning at the Lib conference in Brighton. He was saying that he doesn’t mind all the ageist jokes but he isn’t very convincing. He’d much rather tell us about his Olympic successes in 1964.

Ming’s trouble is not that he’s 66, it’s that he looks like an old git and there’s not really much he can do about it.

Now that it’s illegal to be sexist or racist - what’s left apart from ageism?

Well there’s *heightism* - Kylie and I don’t mind at all. If I can’t reach my vodka from the top shelf I just ask for help ….from a woman of course. Shortarse men probably have a bad time.

There’s also *gingerism*. I don’t approve of this at all. I just hate Chris Evans because he’s crap.

Come to think of it Charles (make mine a stiff one) Kennedy is ginger isn’t he?

What’s so bad about being an alcoholic? You can always reform like Anne Robinson (also ginger) or the jazz fan (bald).

And what about that horrid Clarissa Dickson Wright (full name) Clarissa Theresa Philomena Aileen Mary Josephine Agnes Elsie Trilby Louise Esmerelda Dickson Wright ). She nearly died from drink but came back to defend hunting and make lard pies.

So I say *Bring back Chas*.

KAZ