CATALAN CHRISTMAS

We escaped to Catalunya (Costa Brava) for Christmas.
Bloody cold but wonderfully sunny.
They don’t do Christmas there. Presents are given on Jan 6th. There’s lots of (rather dusty) mangers and cribs about.
Bet you’d forgotten about baby Jesus hadn’t you?

Strangely, on Dec 26th the bins are always full of very posh boxes and expensive packaging.
I thought these Europeans were supposed to be passionate recyclers.
We found 2 beautiful wooden boxes, one was stained green with a still life painted on the front. They had contained wine.

Kev got very drunk very early on Christmas eve, so I refused to go out with him.
Christmas day started with a blazing row which lasted far too long.
Eventually exhausted, we saw sense and ate and drank heartily.
We then watched Bridget Jones 2 on video.

And you thought I was an intellectual.
Love KAZ
resolutions next

Paris Hilton

I know 3 things about Paris Hilton:

1 Her dad, who is much richer than any person can begin to imagine, owns hotels - hence her wonderful name.
2 She likes nano engagements - one (for 128 days) was to a chap called Paris which was a nice coincidence
3 She´s the most popular search on YAHOO!

So there you are, I hoped that you might search for Paris Hilton and find me instead
.
I´ve no shame.
KAZ
P.S. If there´s a squiggle on any of my As it´s cos I´m in Spain in the internet cafe.
Ít´s Catalunya actually where they speak Catalan.
So Bones Festes and seeya after Christmas

Google it

Have you ever googled ‘pensioner’ or ‘senior citizen’?

Don’t bother!

The majority of the sites are trying to sell you a pension or a retirement home.
The words welfare and poverty crop up a lot too.

‘Retirement with a purpose’ looked promising. Sadly, it was all about God botherers who wanted to get well in with their maker before it was too late.

Then we get – ‘PENSIONER as victim’

Shopaholic eBay hacker menaces German pensioner.
Blind, deaf pensioner mobbed by teenagers
Dog drives milk float into pensioner

Pensioner fined for walking too slowly
Pensioner’s body found in estuary (don’t get too upset - it’s only a pensioner)
Pensioner couple beaten to death in robbery
New Zealand Pensioner in cliff plunge whilst mowing lawn
Pensioner lay dead for two weeks
Denture mishap makes pensioner speechless
Pensioner forced to chop off his rotting finger due to surgery delay (New Zealand again)


Then there’s the truly Bizarre:

Pensioner keeps outliving coffin she buys.
Pensioner loses false teeth in fight with prostitute
Live pensioner turned up at his own funeral. Friends and colleagues stunned
Pensioner refuses PIN and told to bank elsewhere
Live pensioner turned up at his own funeral. Friends and colleagues stunned
Thrifty pensioner saves money on viagra
80 year old pensioner called to fight in Iraq (administrative error)

It’s all true, I read it on Google


The best was ‘Police blitz on pensioner buggy speeders’ A speed mad pensioner was ‘using his walking stick like a jousting knight’ to clear people out of the way. And all this on the prom at St Annes on sea.
Well nothing else happens there!

What about google images?

Well Chelsea pensioners appear on every page.

Young KAZ loves the outfit !

My blog should be in the google listings to tell everyone that life begins at sixty

SEO ? can U do it 4 blogs?

CU soon

KAZ

THE MEASURE

‘THE MEASURE’ for young pensioners

(With apologies to Weekend Guardian)

Going Up:

Stannah Chair lifts

Brian Sewell
Tooo POSH, but strangely wonderful. Gives old gits a good name

H&M, Primark, River Island, New Look
Too good to waste on the under sixties.

Free to view
Excellent entertainment for nowt, forget SKY

CAVA
Celebrate for less than 4 quid a bottle

Going Down:

Stannah Chair lifts
Well you can’t stay upstairs all day can you?

Face lifts
What goes up must come down

Jogging
Wobbly jowls? Not attractive

I’m a celebrity….
We’ve had one slimy creature too many!

Junk Food
If Kate Moss can give up cocaine, you can stop eating cream cakes