Spanish drinks.

Sangria isn't the drink for me.

Though it does take care of your 5 a day.

My favourite Spanish tipple is Freixenet BRUT Cava.

So Imagine my distress when, 2 days before I set off for Barcelona, I saw it on special offer in the local Tesco for £3 a bottle! It costs six and a half Euros in the local Spanish supermarkets. At the current exchange rate that's over twice the Tesco price.

What next?

Will hordes of Señors and Señoras come over to UK in charabancs and run amok down the aisles of Tesco? Will they have baccanalian parties in the streets of Stalybridge?

That is just so wrong .... the Brits are the ones who gave binge drinking holidays to the world. It's our only contribution to European culture.

.... But I’m not bitter.....

There's still the Spanish brandy with the inappropriate name.

And the even stranger Giro Gin.

And we don't just come to Spain for the booze do we?

On Christmas eve we saw a Penduline Tit!

Yeah......

KAZ

Escaping.

Poor KAZ.

She has no family of her own - apart from the cousin in Marple of course.

There are no aunts and uncles to share her Christmas vodka. She has no siblings to rival. Worst of all there are no little cherubs wearing red satin sashes and starched crisp sailor suits.

AAAwh!

At a recent get together Kaz and her mates discussed Christmas plans.

Friend B's daughter will be visiting from London. She will be spending time at the local AA meetings as she's not fully cured yet - and she's still struggling with the cocaine habit.

Eileen will spend the 25th minding her son's dog in Sale. He's spending Christmas in Dorset with the in laws.

Jan and her husband have no kids - but that's OK because her sister and her FOUR very large sons will be staying for a few days.

Friend A will be alone in Tameside. She usually celebrates with her sister Pat. However, this year Pat has gone travelling in India. Rather an extreme way to avoid spending the day with A.

Kaz was walking round the Arndale earlier in December getting jostled by sweaty shoppers seeking 3 gifts for the price of 2 and 2 turkeys for the price of 1.
As Jingle Bells assaulted her ears for the fifth time that day she pulled out her mobile, phoned Kev and said 'We're free - let's go'.

This was my Christmas:

But It’s pouring down today!
:(

Hope you all had a good one too.
KAZ
Stop PRESS - it's SNOWING!

Bones Festes

So we left home at 5am on Thursday - that's 5am in the morning Vicus - in the dark and the cold as all the drunken revellers in their stilettos, strappy tops and mini skirts were coming home from town.

If you search for ‘Manchester Christmas’ you'll get this.

We were in Catalunya by lunch time.

If you search ‘Catalan Christmas’ you find this.

This is a Caganer.

It's all a bit too scatological for me but I like the idea that the Caganer is always hidden in a corner of the local Nativity scenes and represents the equality of all people - regardless of status, race or gender.

No one is immune these days - not even the Gods of Barcelona.

This is the only Santa I've spotted so far.

Anyway it’s here now - so come on you curmudgeons - last year we had Noddy.

This year it’s Lovely Les.


Please don't be lonely this Christmas - pop round for a drink and a Twiglet*.
KAZ

Christmas Carbon

Last time I flew off to Spain I didn't exactly come clean about it.

I wanted to save you the bother of making those corny carbon footprint jokes.

I'm off to Barcelona again on Thursday - but this time I've found a solution. Please help by following this advice.

If you don't preheat your oven before cooking your turkey, each one of you will save half a pound of carbon.



According to my calculations this is equivalent to 453 litres of carbon dioxide.

Surely that's enough to offset my flight and probably the one back home as well.

And if you choose a Waldorf salad for your Christmas feast - you'll be saving the turkey as well as the planet.

The current state of the pound means this will probably be my Christmas dinner. I'll be turning on and tuning in from Spain - so I'll be able to come round and thank you all personally.
KAZ

Killer Heels

I have openly admitted to being a shortarse - so you won't be underwhelmed when we meet. There was a time when I wore high(ish) heels and the hideous platforms of the eighties were the answer to my prayers.

But I've been wearing Docs for years now - even for parties.
(Ed: Parties?? .... What parties?)


OK everyone thinks I'm standing in a hole, but according to this site I'm not much smaller than St. Francis of Assisi ... or Kylie.

So I shall ignore the current fashion for 7" super stilettos (that's over half a foot ha ha) - unlike Posh and Cam who turned up somewhere wearing identical pairs. These were probably by Christian Louboutin and cost a few hundred quid.


They're a bit cheaper at Primark.

[click to make even higher]

As well as bunions and corns, prolonged wearing of these shoes can cause broken bones, incontinence, back pain, menstrual dysfunction and fertility problems. You can find handy survival hints on U tube such as taking ibuprofen before venturing out.

Elsewhere on U tube, shoe fetishists must think they've died and gone to heaven.



Great Guitar Soundtrack.
KAZ

Da Do Ron Ron.

There aren't many Ronalds left are there?

However, if you add an o and maybe a couple of other letters you are likely to get a superstar footballer. This can get extremely confusing so pay attention - especially those who 'don't do football' like Ms Scarlet.

Most of you will be familiar with Manchester United's Ronaldo. Yesterday he was crowned The World's Top Football player. Born into Portuguese poverty his magic feet turned him into a prima donna in no time at all.

This is another Ronaldo - a Brazilian who played for Barcelona.

Sometimes he looks like he's been eating too many of his namesake's burgers.

Ronaldinho is also Brazilian. He was worshipped as a God in Barcelona until they suddenly went off him and threatened to send him to Manchester City.


Naturally poor Ronnie was begging to relocate from Barcelona to Manchester - but it wasn't to be.

So we ended up with another Brazilian - Robinho.

Perhaps it's the lack of a proper Ronald in his name but this lad hasn't quite got the idea yet.

A few years back 'The Manchester Evening News' got used to this.

But Robinho's wag Vivian looks like she occasionally eats a pie.

And instead of driving a fleet of gas guzzling Mercedes, Jaguars and SUVs like Wayne Rooney - he catches the bus.

How refreshing.

KAZ

NUDES

How do you like your NUDES ?

Cubist?


Classical?

or Classy?
The last pic was requested by Mistress MJ from Canada (never go there on Friday) in response to the faux sheepskin rug mentioned in the previous post.

It was seconded by Mr NWT Runner who lives in the Canadian Arctic where it's so cold that he can't take his gloves off for long enough to post.
KAZ