Friday, November 28, 2008

Rubbish


I know I know ...

It’s not exactly ’normal’ to take photographs of the bin lorry on a grey drizzly morning.

But this got me mad!

Now you know that I was already saving the planet in the days when David Cameron was enjoying a good flogging at Eton.

Eco warriors were well informed back then and took to the streets with banners and woolly gloves.

But what's this all about - ‘30% of my shop goes straight in the bin‘ ??

Does it mean I do this?

Obviously not.

Does it mean 30% by weight? Surely my Spinach and Ricotta pizza (Mmmmm) weighs more than its box.

30% by volume?
Packaging takes up more space than the contents.



The phrase 'straight in the bin' suggests it doesn't mean left overs.

It's just another example of the Green rubbish we get on a daily basis.

Oh and what do you think that bloke in the front of the pic was doing?

TK Max doesn't give plastic bags any more. Cynics might say it's because the price of plastic has rocketed recently. So last week when I bought a large 100% polyester vegetarian sheepskin throw I carried it to the car in my arms.



I heard shouts of 'Stop Thief' as I left the store. And one chap obviously thought I was being eaten by a polar bear.
KAZ

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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Fallen Idols


I've heard many an erudite discussion about whether one can possibly listen to Wagner because he was a Nazi anti Semitic wanker. No one seems to mention that the real problem is sitting for hours with a numb bum just waiting for the good bits.

But I do struggle with the problem of enjoying my heroes when they do something I don't like.


I adored Eric Clapton until the 'Enoch was right' speech after which Layla didn't sound quite so sublime.

Brian Ferry (born into a working class Geordie family) became a fox hunting class traitor. Now 'Avalon' and 'Love is the Drug' will never speak to me in the same way.
I'm not the only one.

Here's his son Otis who was named after a lift

Why did John Travolta (such an excellent screen actor) have to join the Scientologists?
Carol Vorderman (above) made it OK for girls to be swotty and get their sums right.

Then she went and wore that tarty dress, detoxed herself to a nonentity and advertised anti cholesterol debt consolidation companies on daytime TV.

My all time cricketing hero was Clive Lloyd (Lancashire and West Indies). Watching Clive bat at Old Trafford on a sunny afternoon with a pint of real ale in your hand was heaven on earth.

So imagine how I felt when he turned out to be a Thatcher supporting Tory.


And possibly worst of all - Teddy Sheringham the dimpled football hero had to go and shack up with the awful Danielle Lloyd.

I can't imagine what he saw in her.

Can you ignore the transgressions of your heroes and still enjoy what they do?


KAZ

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Big CHILL

An article in Today's Grauniad predicts sub zero temperatures for much of Britain this weekend. It will be worst in Scotland (as usual) but the least affected part of UK will be the North West.

Good news for Manchester.


But in another section we are told that male Mancunians have the lowest life expectancy of anywhere in England. For women it's Liverpool.


The article gives advice to older persons about keeping warm


Actually this is what they'll really be doing.

The article tells us that the 'Health PreventionAgency' has issued repeated advice to the over 65s to get a flu jab.

click to enlarge

Health Prevention Agency ???

Some may think this is just another of the Grauni's famous misprints.
I don't think so.
It's really a 'leak'. They've kept this agency secret for years but I spotted it a while ago.

Why pay out billions for pensions, bus passes and NHS hip replacements? A well organised 'Health Prevention' plan will be a key move in the goverment's strategy to beat the credit crunch.


Instead of the winter fuel allowance the 'Health Prevention Agency' will be providing meals on wheels ..........


...and a Christmas Bonus of 10 packs of Rothmans King Size.

You've heard of the Nanny state - but you didn't think it meant this Nanny



On website today - This article was amended on Thursday November 20 2008. The Health Prevention Agency that appeared above should have been the Health
Protection Agency. This has been changed.

Oh Yeah!

KAZ

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Monday, November 17, 2008

TYPO

There are many things which would improve the quality of my life.

For example - I could do with longer legs. Using the same type of battery for all my clocks, remote controls and other gadgets would be good as well as the freedom to drink more than a few glasses of Sauvignon without the punishment of a throbbing headache.

But the single factor that would improve my life most - is the ability to type.


I have tried and tried. But since my attempts on the Amstrad in the eighties there has been little improvement.

Seldom do I manage a capital letter first time. Except on the rare occasions when TWo come along at once like double deckers on Wilmslow Rd.


Anagrams appera - see - appear as if by magic. Spain always comes out as Sapin.

And why do I always get og or od when ‘of’ is just as statistically probable?


I used to think I couldn't read the wvs as it takes me so long to get it right.
Then I realised that I was reading them correctly but mistyping them.
But are these js or is?
I thought this one had an umlaut.
I've tried kiddies typing programmes, learned correct fingering and spent hours practising.

No improvement.

Should I call Mavis Beacon or try voice recognition? And would it understand my trouble a t'mill voice - or would I have to talk posh?

KAZ

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

'Michelle .... my Belle'

If I'd remembered my camera last Tuesday night this would have been a very different post.

Entering the Printworks on the way to the Odeon I was met by crash barriers, a long red carpet and a barrage of paparazzi.
Apparently a Coronation Street DVD was being launched and the cast (plus Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen) were all there looking extremely glamorous.

But we were here to see Oliver Stone's "W" (free tickets for an election night preview) which was too long, too wordy and strangely irrelevant.

Then we went home to watch the election results.

On Wednesday morning I was fascinated to read your feelings about Obama's victory in blog after blog.

For many of us it brought back memories of this -

But - unlike Obama -Tory Bliar was never committed to left wing (or any) politics. He was committed to his own version of Christianity. His only concession to the left was to appoint John Prescott to be his deputy.

In Manchester on Wednesday afternoon, I thought that the black / mixed race people on the street were holding their heads up a little higher and exuding a new air of confidence.

Possibly my imagination - but I hope not.


So a black man will soon be the most powerful man in the world. But don't forget we will also have a black First Lady. And what a classy, articulate, intelligent and beautiful role model she will be.

In 1979 some feminists suggested that we should ignore Thatcher's politics and vote for her in the spirit of sisterhood. I considered that for all of 0.000002 milliseconds.

But I like the look of Michelle.
KAZ

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Monday, November 10, 2008

Your choice

These are some of the album covers you chose in the previous post.







And this is for BETTY.



next post on Wednesday.

Ta ....
KAZ

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Thursday, November 06, 2008

frames

Have you got loads of LPs sleeping on the shelf - but no turntable to play them on. One of these album cover frames seems like a good idea.

But which cover would you choose to display?

I love this - and - believe it or not - I actually bought this album before I met the jaaaz fan.

Everyone likes Abba ....don't they?





Are those IKEA meatballs on her plate?

This is for fans of the pun.

Fred hadn't heard about flip flops.


************************************
But - have you ever in your life seen anything that is just soooo wrong as this one? And you might spot a certain similarity in the titles of the tracks.


But I've always believed that 'less is more' - so perhaps this is the one for me.

What do you think?
KAZ

Monday, November 03, 2008

Baby Boomers

Aren't these two little princes lovely?

Believe it or not - next week they will both be celebrating a very special birthday.

The one on the right is of German origin and has a fondness for organic farming and female sanitary protection.


This is his blog.


The other one lives in Norfolk. He is the only person in East Anglia who hasn't got his own blog.


But we hear all about him here.

He's known as Drew. This is because he likes puns and his second name is Peacock.
Murph sometimes calls him Pop.

This advert lets you into the secret of how he made his enormous fortune.


These two also emerged into the world in 1948. They decided on the make up at an early age so that they could avoid Botox in later life
Olivia and Lulu have survived 'til 60 along with Sven, Cat, Stevies Winwood and Nicks and the unassuming and charismatic Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber.


I was born in the same year as Rod Stewart, Bianca Jagger and George Best.

Find out (here)
who was born in the same year as YOU.

I hope I'm first to wish Drew a Happy Birthday.

Life begins at ??

KAZ