DRINK

DRINK

I have reduced my drinking to 3 glasses of very cold white wine (Sauvignon) per day.
Apparently it’s still too many units for a very small female.

I don’t drink much but I start early so I finish early.

Kev starts early and stops when he passes out.

He says he knows the difference between work and drink. When he’s not working, he’s drinking.

I WORRY ABOUT HIM

We went for a meal in Spain and the restaurant owner gave us a free bottle of wine as we left.
It probably cost 75p max. Kev was ecstatic! He rejoiced for hours afterwards.

Rob (ex husband) is a recovering alcoholic. He’s been dry for nearly 2 years now,
He bangs on and on about AA meetings and is doing a full time counselling course.

Kev or Rob??
You choose.

CU soon

KAZ

P.S. How's your drink? Do the quiz.

ANNIE HALL is sixty

Diane Keaton – my all time favourite is sixty soon.

Wasn’t she great in ‘something's Gotta Give' with Jack Nicholson a couple of years ago and do you remember her in the Godfather?

I copied the way she dressed in Annie Hall, but my favourite was the gorgeous black and white ‘Manhattan’. I have the huge film poster on my wall.


I wasn’t her only fan. She had serious relationships with Warren Beatty, Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves (allegedly) as well as Woody Allen.

She is on the cover of ‘Saga’ magazine this month. It’s a decent mag for young pensioners as they tuck the chair lift adverts discreetly in the back pages. I’ll do a link if I can manage it.

More soon

KAZ

Official PENSIONER

Last week I walked to the local library. I took out two ‘feel good’ videos to watch with Kev at the weekend.
As the lovely librarian was stamping the date she said ’You go home and put your feet up and enjoy them luv.’

My God – do I really look as though I’ve nothing better to do than skulk at home all day watching telly?

On my way back I met Jack (ex colleague and chum).

Jack: HI KAZ: How’s retirement?
KAZ: Fab!!
Jack: Oh the novelty ‘ll soon wear off.

Then I saw Mac.

KAZ: Hi Mac I’ve retired.
MAC: They won’t let me retire
KAZ: Oh!

Today I returned to the library. The computer screen was at an angle so I could see it clearly.

Right across the middle of my record it said in big letters

{P E N S I O N E R}

Well that will explain why they don’t ask for fines any more.

No hiding now. Off to use my bus pass

KAZ

A FRIEND WHO DOESN'T WORK

You definitely need a friend who doesn’t work.

My friend who doesn’t work is Barbara. We go for walks together. No rush and no pressure.

Last weekend I was out in the country with Kev and we passed a lovely pub that said ‘2 meals for £8’ Monday to Friday. Obviously my dear toy boy could not take advantage of this so I phoned Barbara.

After an excellent walk we reached the pub, opened the door and saw in front of us a sea of grey heads.
It was a bit scary.

They like their grub these old gits.


We brazened it out and I even had a little flirt with a bloke on the next table (about my age) who’d brought his dad.

Can I still cut the mustard?

Don’t go grey young pensioner – I’m blonde now for the first time.

Yesterday Barbara had the ‘pensioner’s special’ – I had a non ageist prawn sandwich.

More soon KAZ

Went into town yesterday and got my new bus pass. Didn’t use it on the way home – paid full price.

OK I’m still in denial!

SIXTIETH BIRTHDAY

I’ve just taken down my 60th birthday cards

They are gathering dust by now.

I was in denial about my birthday – I escaped to Spain for a few days with Kev who did not do well.
OK, perhaps I should have had a party, but I’m not really a ‘party person’ and Lesley had a party on her sixtieth which rivalled the silver jubilee. So that will do me for ever.

Actually, I had 3 birthdays

1: A quiet one on the day in Spain.
We had a row as usual, but the day after we went birdwatching and saw a cetti’s warbler which was just fab

2: A meal out with Kev, cos I said he had to try again – this was excellent

3: Night out with pals – see photo. Best pal Eileen gave me the biography of Philip Larkin. I’ve finished it now – more later.

KAZ


Pension letter has arrived.

RULES for YOUNG PENSIONERS

RULES FOR YOUNG PENSIONERS (PART 1)

DO:
Eat low fat food ...... forget Atkins he’s dead!!

Use a magnifying mirror when applying mascara

Use the library – free books, videos, DVDs, internet (save on heating too)

Drink wine

Go places – bus pass, railcard, what’s the excuse?

Talk with young people whether they want to or not

Learn how to say NO.
You are a free spirit and can do exactly what you want.

Play Freecell - it’s fun and good for the bowels (don’t ask!)

DON’T:
Bang on and on about the sixties

Wear a hat when driving

Wear your glasses on a string round your neck

Carry a shopping bag (is Roy your role model?)

Drink before noon

ONLY CHILD

I'M AN ONLY CHILD.

I’d always thought my (older) pal Lesley would be my pensioner role model.

But she’s still working as if her life depended on it – like PARKINSON.

My bloke (Kev) is a toy boy – so he can’t retire. My other mates are a bit too young.

SO I’M ON MY OWN!
Which is great as I can go back to being a kid. Sitting in my room or ‘office’ fiddling with the computer, drawing, messing about, reading, staring at the wall.

And no one can tell me what to do.

Julie Birchill thinks being an only child is the best.

What do you think?

KAZ

No pension yet

YOUNGEST PENSIONER

My Sixtieth birthday!
Today, I’m the youngest pensioner in Britain. Born a few days after the war finished.
I’d been expecting a pension book in the post - along with a bus pass, fuel allowance payment and a B&Q discount card for Wednesdays.

Nothing – what a disappointment!
Surely there should be a nice letter to say my pension would be on its way and worth X pounds. I’d filled in all the forms ages ago.
So what’s retirement going to be like for my generation?

Will we spend our days in the pound shop with a recycled carrier bag?

Will I ever get my pension?

Will I be a free spirit or a lost soul?

I’ll find out and tell you about it in this BLOG

More soon

KAZ (Youngest pensioner)

That's me above 59 years ago - or is it Ian Hislop?